Mothers, Parenting in Style
Nurturing, empathy, understanding, and caring. All qualities are attributed to motherhood and leaders as well. Does this mean that all parenting is the same?
Well, the answer to this question is both a Yes, and a No. Let us start with the yes. Yes, all parenting is hard. Understanding your child is a hard job. Enforcing discipline is not easy. The late-night studying is a tough job. Helping your kid during their hard times. The list could go on and on.
However, parenting is not a one-size-fits-all. Mothers take on different styles and behaviors.
Mothers, parenting in Style!
Laura sat at the head of the table. It was her third year to head the Parent-Teacher Association (PTA) at her son's school. During her three years at the committee, everyone thought highly of her. She is always referred to as caring and giving. Laura highly emphasized honesty and morals. Everyone knows the parent's story of her daughter cheating and copying her assignments from a book. When Laura knew, she would not accept it. She raised matters during the committee and insisted necessary action be taken. Laura put in extra hours and gave plenty of her time for the sake of the committee. That was Laura. She would not do something half-heartedly. She put her heart into everything she did. She would give her all.
Moreover, she was highly supportive of all the committee members and their kids. Everyone knew how dedicated, supportive, and caring she was. However, some members, such as Diana, did not enjoy this much. They felt Laura was running a Utopia. Everything had to be perfect! And when things did not go as planned, Laura would turn judgmental of herself and everyone. Laura held everyone to her over the bar standards. She expected everyone to give the same amount of time, effort, and over-commitment. Through Diana's lens, Laura was just too much.
As for Diana, she headed the sports committee at school. Her son played soccer. Just as Laura had a famous story, Diana had one too. The story of how she turned her son from a non-athletic quiet boy to a competitive six-foot athlete who is competing for a sports scholarship. Diana was well-known for her business ideas which she usually brought to the PTA.
In contrast, parents wanted their kids to learn about charity and giving. Diana would bring in ideas about selling stuff so that kids will learn about business fundamentals. She wanted her children to have their open small projects since they were eight years old. There were lots of clashes between Laura and Diana, and it was usually about morals and principles. Diana was aggressive. She pushed her children forward, which was sometimes viewed by other parents as cruel. While for Diana, she valued perseverance, competitiveness and wanted her kids to be the same. In other parents' eyes, Diana was aggressive. While she could be, Diana was pro a good opportunity and a good chance worth snatching.
Jannette usually observed the clashes between Laura and Diana. She would sit quietly in her corner on the lookout. After the PTA meeting, Sharon would usually approach Jannette and ask her about her thoughts, who would usually keep silent for some time before she answered. Jannette would stare quietly at Sharon then analyze the situation, together with a logical assessment of the argument. Jeanette was famous for her discipline with her kids. The silent parent would help her daughter by putting studying schedules in place and helping her organize her studying area. Jeannette would slowly solve her daughter's problems as she listened and asked for the facts. She was also meticulous with her daughter, paying attention to details in her appearance. Her daughter usually complained to Sharon that her mother did not show much affection. She was typically critical of her and fussed about her grades even if she did well. She wanted more of her. When things got hard for Jeannette's daughter, she would usually run to Sharon.
Sharon was a flexible mother. She was well-known for her cheerleading capacity as she cheered her daughters enthusiastically during their practice, making a scene they both hated. Sharon could not help it. Parents would invite the girls so their mother Sharon would join. Sharon was the mother all kids wanted to have. She showed her daughters affection, listened empathically, and was open-minded about their teenage issues. Sharon knew most of the parents. Therefore, it is no surprise that she headed the gatherings and parties committee at the PTA. She was responsible for arranging trips and birthdays, making use of her social skills. Sharon was likable. However, she got on Diana's nerves, who thought of Sharon as being childlike and melodramatic. While Jeannette thought of her as permissive, allowing the unallowed. Yet, Sharon was the cherry on top of the PTA. She gave a special flavor of acceptance, humor, and love.
The four ladies above each one of them had her unique parenting style. Which one are you?
According to LIFO, which is our Life Orientations towards life, there are four parenting styles. The four styles correspond to the four ladies in our story above.
Are you a Laura? If your answer is yes, then your Parenting Style is
Supporting-Giving Parenting Style
The Supporting Giving parenting style expects excellence and equity. This parenting style is idealistic and, if used excessively, can become perfectionistic—additional parenting information.
- Concerned with "rights and wrongs."
- Emphasizes beliefs and principles.
- Likes to be seen as a "good" parent.
- Needs to be respected and valued.
- Wants to be a helpful and trusted advisor.
If you are a Diana, then your Parenting Style is:
Controlling-Taking Parenting Style
The Controlling Taking parenting style promotes action. This parenting style is opportunistic and, if used excessively, can become coercive. Additional parenting information.
- Concerned with "winning and losing."
- Emphasizes doing.
- Likes to be seen as an "active" parent.
- Needs to be empowered and authoritative.
- Wants to be a competent and confident coach.
If you related more to Jeannette, then your Parenting Style is
Conserving-Holding Parenting Style
The Conserving Holding parenting style applies reason. This parenting style is realistic and, if used excessively, can become pessimistic. Additional parenting information.
- Concerned with "pros and cons."
- Emphasizes logical thinking.
- Likes to be seen as a "reasonable" parent.
- Needs to be informed and knowledgeable.
- Wants to be an objective and practical resource.
While if you think you are more of a Sharon, then your Parenting Style is
Adapting-Dealing Parenting Style
The Adapting Dealing parenting style seeks harmony. This parenting style is optimistic and, if used excessively, can become permissive. Additional parenting information.
- Concerned with "likes and dislikes."
- Emphasizes accommodation and inclusion.
- Likes to be seen as a "fun" parent.
- Needs to be accepted and liked.
- Wants to be an easygoing pal.
According to LIFO Parenting Style Survey, knowing your Style as a mother, understanding your unique blend of strengths and behaviors that come with your particular parenting style will help you parent your children in Style.
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