Dads Encouraging the Hearts
To climb to the top is arduous and steep. People in the organization may feel tired or frustrated. It is sometimes tempting to give up. However, when a leader is credible and consistent, genuine acts of caring and feedback may stir this all and give people the motive to keep going.
It is not that different with children. As broad as “I am proud of you!”, and as specific as “I am glad you took the (x) action in the (y) situation!” the heart of your child would be encouraged and would be reinforced to always choose the best course of action according to the situation.
Eric Berne, assumes that we are driven by deeply ingrained programs. It is as if our parents are constantly talking to us. I have collected some of these never-ending tapes we play in our heads and organized them according to the LIFO® Styles:
Supporting Giving
- Be nice!
- Be a good person!
- You have to help others!
- You have to set high standards for yourself and others!
- If something goes wrong it is your fault!
- You have to sacrifice yourself for the cause and for other people!
Adapting Dealing
- Make sure that everybody loves you!
- Make everybody happy!
- Seek the spotlight!
- Be charming!
- Life is supposed to be fun!
- Why make final decisions and commit yourself!?
Conserving Holding
- Be 100% perfect!
- You can’t make any mistakes!
- Even the smallest details are important!
- Completely immerse yourself in the subject!
- Organization is the most important thing in life!
- Life is serious!
- Beware of people having fun!
Controlling Taking
- You always have to be first!
- Success is the only thing that counts in life!
- Keep your chin up!
- You can do it!
- Only you can do it!
- If someone hits you, hit back immediately!
Each profile looks and acts according to a wide range of variables in different situations.
“We are educated, raised and programmed. We learn early on how one has to behave. We are influenced and formed by parents, relatives, teachers, clerics, friends, bosses, partners, clients. We are successful and are praised when we do this, and are “punished,” get stuck and fail when we do that. We are programmed by reinforcement.”
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